During a meeting in Nairobi, 24-year-old Faith, whose name has been changed for her privacy, felt a wave of anxiety wash over her when a senior colleague insisted that she agreed with his impractical suggestion. As one of the few women in her office, the pressure to conform and avoid being labeled as difficult prevented her from voicing her opinion. "I felt an unspoken pressure to smile, to be agreeable," she shared, raising concerns over the workplace dynamics that often stifle the voices of young women.
Despite being two years into her career and one of the first women in her family to attend university, Faith grappled with the notion of "the broken rung" referenced in the Women in the Workplace 2025 report. This report by McKinsey highlights the steep decline of female representation in leadership roles, particularly in developing countries like Kenya, Nigeria, and India. While women occupy 50% of entry-level positions in some sectors, that percentage plummets to a mere 26% at senior levels.
In a similar experience, Faith chose silence over confrontation, embodying what experts term "likeability labour." This phenomenon encompasses the mental and emotional exertion women invest to cultivate a friendly image and avoid being viewed as assertive. According to studies, women face an overwhelming burden of societal expectations—56% reported feeling pressured to be likeable compared to only 36% of their male counterparts.
Amy Kean, a renowned sociologist, emphasizes the societal conditioning behind this phenomenon. Women are often socialized to prioritize others' needs, which inadvertently spills over into professional environments. The term 'office mathe' (office mother) signifies those who undertake roles to maintain workplace harmony. While some women may embrace these responsibilities, it often means additional unpaid labor without recognition, reinforcing gender imbalances in the workplace.
Dr. Gladys Nyachieo, a sociologist from Kenya, advocates for systemic changes to address likeability issues, highlighting the importance of flexible work policies and mentorship. Faith, who is a mentee of Dr. Nyachieo, reflects on the valuable lessons learned in overcoming these pressures. “I’m learning not to feel the need to be smiley and nice all the time,” she states, revealing a determined path towards self-advocacy.
In a world that often demands women to choose between being likable and being heard, the conversation continues, emphasizing the need for transformational change that empowers women to navigate their careers authentically and confidently.
