NEW YORK (AP) — On the eve of his sentencing, Sean “Diddy” Combs told a federal judge Thursday that he is a new man after realizing that he was “broken to my core” and at times wondering if he was better off dead.


Combs, 55, wrote in a letter to Judge Arun Subramanian that with his mind clear after a year in jail, he can see how far he had fallen following his September 2024 arrest. The hearing for his sentencing is scheduled for Friday morning.


“Over the past year, there have been many moments when I wanted to give up. There have been days when I thought I would be better off dead. The old me died in jail, and a new version of me was reborn. Prison will change you or kill you — I choose to live,” he stated.


A jury in July acquitted Combs on sex trafficking and racketeering conspiracy charges, meaning he won’t face life in prison. The prostitution-related counts each carry a maximum punishment of 10 years.


His lawyers argue for his release this month, claiming that his year behind bars has been sufficient punishment, while prosecutors are seeking at least 11 years in prison.


Combs stated that the last two years have been the hardest of his life, for which he holds himself accountable. “In my life, I have made many mistakes, but I am no longer running from them,” he wrote. “I am so sorry for the hurt that I caused, but I understand that merely saying ‘I’m sorry’ will never be enough.”


Combs Apologizes for Past Actions


He issued an apology for assaulting his former girlfriend, Casandra “Cassie” Ventura, at a Los Angeles hotel in 2016. “The scene and images of me assaulting Cassie haunt me daily. I lost my mind. I was wrong for putting my hands on the woman I loved. I’m deeply sorry for that,” Combs recounted.


He also expressed regret towards another victim, saying, “After hearing her testimony, I realized that I hurt her. For this, I am truly sorry.”


Combs shared that the pain from his actions has left a lasting impact on him, saying, “It feels like a deep wound that leaves an ugly scar.” He credits his decline to selfishness and the excesses he indulged in.


During his time in jail, Combs has focused on self-improvement through reading, writing, exercising, and even teaching a course to fellow inmates. He is undergoing therapy to address past drug abuse and anger issues.


A Plea for Family


In his letter, Combs asked for mercy not just for himself but for his family, especially his seven children and aging mother, whom he once cared for primarily. He lamented missing important moments, like proms and graduations, while incarcerated.


“As I write to you, I fear spending another moment away from my loved ones. My family means more to me than fame or money,” he stated, describing his jail conditions as “inhumane.”


In conclusion, he urged the judge to see his potential for redemption: “Instead of making an example out of me with a lengthy sentence, make me an example of what someone can achieve if given a second chance," he wrote. “If I am allowed to return home, I promise not to let you down.”